Things that irk me (and I found cheap ff stockings...that doesnt irk me)

Let me go ahead and get this out of the way so I can rant and rave like a complete nutcase.

Best full fashioned authentic stockings for the best price would be at magnolia hosiery. MH has been making them for eons and they are UNDER 20 BUCKS. How about UNDER 15 BUCKS! And they are pretty, authentic, cuban heeled and non-cuban heeled and they arent a bazillion dollars. All of you vintage stocking purists can kiss my size 9 1/2 foot. I buy new because hey, they are new and guaranteed to fit my banana boat feet.

OK---now to the crazy stuff.
I have vintage clothes. I love vintage inspired underwear (not like you can tell seeing as how 99 % of my posts relate to my never ending search for the perfect girdle, stocking, big panty) and I wear this stuff. The underwear I do daily (it is winter time) and I generally gravitate toward vintage inspired and full skirted clothes in stores. I was a rockabilly DJ in college. I wont even tell you what happened after a RHH show at the Norva in VA (hint--he is three and his name starts with a G). What I will say is this--hang it up, you pretentious jerks! Do you have any idea how straight up stoopid you look waltzing (or jitterbugging or lindy-hopping) into a Burger King? Or a mall? Or pumping your gas? These would be the same people who sneer when I wear regular pantyhose and dont draw a seam on my leg, finger wave my hair daily or wear all vintage clothes all the time. Newsflash, you are not Ginger Rogers. You are not Carey Grant. You are not Jimmy Stewart, Greta Garbo or Marilyn Monroe. You work at Ross (or any random "boutique" restaurant) and you need to hurry up taking the beepy tag thing off of my 5.99 pocket book and while you are at it, refill my Dr. Pepper. But dont raise your drawn on eyebrows at me, sister, cause I live in reality.

Sheesh. I just get a little fed up with the whole "I live vintage!" lifestyle. It is far too time consuming and all of those vintage clothes rip and smell like mothballs. I think, though, the sheer snootiness is what kills me. Which is why when I see a sneering red mouth I tend to spit my gum as hard as I can in that general vicinity. Cause I am vintage like that.